Jays Golf? by Jay Downey

Before I ever typed a single word on JaysGolf.com, someone named Jay wanted to buy the domain.  I often wonder how things might differ had the domain been sold.  You would have seen me on The Golf Fix (I sent that footage to the Golf Channel before “JaysGolf” officially existed) and would have thought, “Oh, wow!  Look at that guy… hummm, he’s not even wearing proper golf attire! pfftt!”, and promptly forgotten about me.  Possibly Mr. Breed’s reading of my letter that accompanied the video would have stuck with you for a few days, maybe a month, but I doubt longer than that.  The domain was not sold, however, and I took to Twitter and you people have been stuck with me for over four years now.

Problem now is, I no longer golf.  At least I did not in 2014.  I was so disabled by the injury I sustained, there was no joy to playing.  It was all well and good to hit balls with a hybrid off astroturf to aid in my recovery, but that’s not golf.  I was good at golf.  I was not going to be on any tour, but I did play on my high school team.  I was skilled.  I have taught others to play the game.  What I have been grappling with all this time and as I write this is, “is it worth it?”

I know this is completely selfish to think this, but sometimes we need to be a little selfish.  Is it worth fighting to score 120+ on a course I used to score in the low 90’s, or better?  Forgetting that example, what about the videos I used to make?  I did not cut out the miss-hits, I did not have to, they were few.  Now, I  would have gigs worth of B-roll!  I certainly would not be “testing” the club.  It is very possible that my audience was not interested in a club demo or test, I am aware of that, but that was the content I intended.

That said, and to further the point of content generation, I come back to JaysGolf.com.  For the most part, I write about things that happen to, or influence me while playing golf.  I try to draw upon my experience with golf.  If I can’t golf, what the hell do I write about?  I do not think my trials and tribulations dealing with more doctors than I can keep track of would be all that appealing.  Although, after typing that sentence, I think there probably is a strong target market for such content.  Even so, it has no business being on a golf-centric website.
I have lost my will at this point.  I am struggling to think of a why.  The one thing that I cannot deny is the people and experiences that JaysGolf has brought into my life.  I met a beautiful family, the McNally’s. (I’ve met many others as well, too many to mention, especially since I am writing this for Herb.)  I know the McNally’s would have my company whether I can play golf or not, my worry is for all those I have yet to meet.  The rational side of my brain tells me “they” would not care either, but the emotional side is far more powerful.  It drives me down the path of thinking, the sole basis of their interest in me is I am a golfer, a good golfer.  At the very least, a golfer who can keep up!  I have always taken pride in the fact that I was of equal ability on a golf course.  Is that sentence going to remain in the past tense?  Do I have any control over that answer?  I do not know.

A note from Herb:

Jay,
I love golf more because of you. But golf will never affect the way that I, and many others, will ever feel about you. You are an incredible person and a great friend. No matter what you choose to do, I promise you will have more support than you could ever imagine. Just keep being Jay.